S'porean man, 61, suffered stroke, used last S$300 from insurance payout to start sex toy business

Desmond Goh still remembers the day his daughter found out about his sex toy business. She had just returned from a trip to Amsterdam. Goh, his ex-wife (with whom he is on amicable terms), and his daughter were at a mee pok store in Bedok. “Then the mum told her, you know, your dad is selling sex toys,” he quips. The year was 2013. Goh, then 48, had suffered a stroke two years earlier. Despite months of rehabilitation, he was left physically weakened and unable to return to his previous work selling curtains. But he still had a family to provide for. The solution he eventually arrived at: selling sex toys online. Started with S$300 Speaking to me at his physical store in Yishun, the now-61-year-old recalls the anxiety he felt at the time. “After my stroke, I can’t go out, I can’t move on my own… I was worried about what would happen to me, what my income would be. Because I don’t want to be a burden to my family, who are not well-to-do people,” he says. He had received an insurance payout from his stroke. But after months of being bedridden and unable to work, he had just S$300 left. Online sales, he decided, was the answer. In 2013, e-commerce was the latest big thing. Qoo10 and Carousell and blogshops. “I was very naive,” he admits. “I thought you just list up everything, then people buy from you. It’s free money, easy money.” Photo by Mothership Sex sells Goh began to conduct research. He looked at clothing, baby supplies, and footwear. But competition was fierce everywhere he looked. Finally, he chanced upon adult toys. He had no experience in the market, had never even been to a sex shop. But the margins were reasonable, there was demand, and — most importantly — no one else wanted to do it. “So with my insurance payout, I bought an initial batch of probably 10 products in my bedroom, and started selling on Qoo10.” He used magazine paper to wrap the products. His mum helped. His first order — he still remembers it — was a S$5 vibrator. "I was so excited," he says. He took the bus all the way to Holland Village to deliver personally, and was rewarded with a good review. Eventually, he built his own website: Frisky Business. When his inventory outgrew his bedroom, he moved into a rented storage space in Woodlands. Then, a whole unit at Midview City in 2017. In 2020, he opened his current showroom in Yishun. “We didn’t really think of [physical] retailing, but it seems like there are people who prefer to come and see them,” he explains. Photo by Mothership A toll on his life Over 10 years on, his revenue numbers are healthy, although recently dampened by growing online competition. He earns enough to provide for his ageing mother and spoil his one-year-old granddaughter, whom he clearly adores. “She is my only motivation [in life] now,” he tells me. But his work has also taken a toll on his personal life. After the initial shock, his family — including his two daughters — accepted Goh’s new business venture. “They are so supportive,” he effuses. In dating, however, it has proved more of a hindrance. Goh tells me that after his divorce, he tried to find a new partner. “There would be some very nice dates, we’d go for dinner and drinks,” he recalls. “[But] when I tell them I am selling adult toys… you can sense the sudden change in mood.” After he turned 50, he decided to make peace with his singlehood. It isn’t all bad, he no longer has to think about dyeing his hair and looking fit. But singlehood has also left him more reclusive. His daughters are his “only inner circle”; he seldom leaves the house except to work. “My friends… I shut myself away, I cocooned myself away from them. Maybe I feel embarrassed to see them. I am not sure. I do not know why. " Photo by Mothership Finding meaning While there is some residual shame, Goh makes it clear: he loves his work. Loves the strategy, the drive, the financial security. When he first started the business, he had a “very old-fashioned mindset” and didn’t know how to use the computer. But he has since learnt graphic design, product design, and SEO. He’s even using Claude to pull data analytics from his website. And then there are the customers. He tells me about how an older woman once came in with her adult son, enquiring about a sex doll. He had autism, and she wanted him to have a companion. Then there was another man. His mother suffered from severe dementia and had always longed for him to get married. So he brought home a doll and told her that it was her daughter-in-law. “There was no intimacy between him and the doll,” Goh explains. He just wanted to make his ageing mother happy. Photo from Mothership It is this day-to-day that keeps him going. “I just love the job so much, I don’t know how to quit,” he tells me. The prospect of retirement Goh says he hopes to make “redemption”. He entered the business for his family, to provide for them even when his body failed him. Now, family is the only thing that can tempt him to leave for good. He tells me about his recent family trip to Osaka, how happy he was spending time with everyone. “[My granddaughter] calls me ‘gong gong’. It melts my heart,” he tells me. “Constantly seeing my granddaughter… that could be something that might push me to retire.” As I wrap up the interview and walk around the store to take photos, I notice Goh on a video call at his desk. It is a strange portrait, the old man video-calling his granddaughter from a sex shop. Oblivious, or at least dispassionate, to the rows and rows of sex toys behind him. “Come home later and see you OK?” he promises. Photo by Mothership