‘The club would like to thank …’: Manchester United dust off the heartfelt exit message

Tuesday 22 April 2014: “Manchester United has announced that David Moyes has left the club. The club would like to place on record its thanks for the hard work, honesty and integrity he brought to the role.”Oh no! Where will the USA! USA! USA! ever be able to find a manager who could lead us to the dizzying heights of yet another humiliating defeat in the round of 16? A completely empty safari shirt on a clothes hanger could do that. Now he’s leaving the national team to prioritise a club team, which is exactly what he criticised Christian Pulisic for doing a while back. A $10m dollar buyout from Manchester United is a way more appealing prospect than another World Cup cycle with this guy. Adios, Mauricio. I’d add gracias, but for what, exactly?” – Chi.If any Manchester United fans weren’t already feeling that their board had totally lost its moral compass, then might I suggest that in holding the board meeting to seal Michael Carrick’s fate in Monaco a new bar in tone-deafness has been set. Out of touch, no? Pas du tout. Bonne chance, Mauricio, you are going to need it fella. Meanwhile, let’s pencil in the next board meeting for six months’ time or so. Circus Circus in Las Vegas anyone? Might be too many clowns” – John Collins.With Lil Wayne doing his bit in the jungle, how long before we do actually see Don Pochettino playing a starring role in the Joel & Jim-hosted caper show I’m A Previously Respectable Manager … Get Me Out Of Here?” – Ken Muir. Continue reading...